PSYCHOLOGY IN THE MARTIAL ARTS: Psychologist’s Notebook
by Dr. Russell Mattimore-Knudson. Family Counselor.
Frequently parents believe their child will become unusually aggressive and violent if permitted to learn a martial art. Evidence illustrates the contrary in most instances. The reason for this is at least twofold. First, the child begins to learn “control of self.” That is, the child will learn both physical and psychological control. Psychological control occurs, however, when the child begins to learn physical control.
Whenever a child or an adult begins martial art training, the first obstacle they overcome is how to coordinate hands with feet and eyes with both hands and feet, as well as with other body parts. Clear examples of this are successful board breaking and the graceful demonstration of forms with offensive and defensive movements. The result of learning to control the parts of the body at ‘will’ is literally “self-control” or “body control”. . .. this control which leads to “psychological control” or to “self-trust” …. in one’s ability to accomplish something. Moreover, it is this personal accomplishment that leads to a change in one’s perception of …. in turn, brings about the necessary personal development which … leads to new ways – ethical ways – to ventilate anger, disappointment and failure.
Caknipe’s article, in the July, 1984 issue of Tae Kwon Do Times, is one of many articles which reflect the positive effects of martial art training for children with emotional problems. These same effects have been … many times with children who have difficulty ventilating anger, difficulty understanding that failing to do something does not mean that they are failures as human beings, and with children who have been labeled as having bad tempers and who have difficulty relating to others. There will probably always be a select number of children who learn little from martial art training and, indeed, use the little they have learned to further their aggression towards others. These children are a very small minority, however, and would probably “get worse” regardless of any training in the martial arts.
Many children see only the glamour in learning a martial art or the fabulous kicks portrayed on television, but when they begin martial art training, they quickly discover how much effort is required to learn the kicks and the overall difficulty of the training. Many of these same children quit when they experience “real martial art training.” The children that remain and eventually climb the ladder to the black belt levels almost always become very courteous, become confident in taking risks, and learn how to learn — an element often times lacking in the public schools in the United States.
The other reason most children in the martial arts do not become bullies — even if they seemed to be bullies or were on the verge of “bullihood” before lessons — is the quality of instruction and the personality of the teacher.
Given each student’s ability, it is the instructor who makes the difference between the student who quits or does poorly, and the student who progresses beyond the belief in his or her own abilities.
The teacher who becomes personally involved with the student and who teaches his martial art from the perspective of self-control and respect for others, is the teacher who can, and often times does, help an overly aggressive and hostile child become calm and self-controlled. The instructor does this first by role-modelling. He demonstrates self-control and respect for others while helping the child to succeed in his class. These teachers only provide students with experiences the student or child can understand and master. For example, an instructor would likely only allow an overly aggressive child to practice one or two techniques until mastered, that is, was able to perform them adequately. To provide an overly aggressive child with too many learning experiences at one time will likely “teach” failure and reinforce the child’ s belief that he is and always will be a failure. At this point, it should be understood that many overly aggressive or bully-type children are this way because they have poor self-images and do not know how to meet their basic psychological needs for self-worth, belonging and acceptance. Teaching these children how to be successful will strongly encourage them to give up the perception that they have to be aggressive and bully others in order to be good and worthy human beings . Martial art instructors who take care in teaching and who are perceptive to the basic psychological needs of their students will help them gain the psychological control they require to develop and consequently, act and think respectively. The result will be children who meet their own needs for self-worth and belonging. These children will not become bullies.
Beyond what I have already mentioned, knowing what to look for in selecting an appropriate teacher and school for your child is critically important. For example, avoid martial art schools where observing classes if forbidden. Also avoid teachers who place an overemphasis on sport. Sport in the martial arts may be important and be advocated by the instructor, but if it is overly emphasized, the techniques taught will be perceived by the child as a means to an end. The primary purpose, which is to first control the self, will not be learned.
Third when meeting an instructor, asks what he is teaching as well as his teaching techniques. To ignore these two aspects clearly would be a mistake and would give the instructor license to teach anything in any manner.
Fourth, watch your child practice for a least two weeks at the martial art school. Often times, within a two week period, you will gain a representative sample of whether or not the instructor approaches students from the perspective which I have mentioned.
Last, talk with your child about what he or she hopes to gain from martial art instruction and how he or she plans to use the knowledge and skill once acquired. If the plans do not include learning self-control and mutual respect for self and others, do not enroll the child. Suggest to your child learning dance, gymnastics or some other kind of non-combative activity that can also teach self-control.
If you would like additional references to consult on the effects of the martial arts on children or adults, please write. I will also answer any specific questions you may have regarding the effects of martial art training on children.
